Updated: Apr 15, 2021
PRAYER AND SCRIPTURE JOURNEY DAY 1:
My life feels meaningless. I'm not able to engage in conversations or friendships that are meaningful. I'm just not capable. I'm not filling the needs others have for socializing and friendships. I just can't cope and if someone tries to make friends with me they soon realize I'm different, hard to understand, and not worth the time and effort. This means I'm avoided, ignored, misunderstood, and no-one comes around me or talks with me who know how I am. It is hurtful and hard for me to handle emotionally. It's come to a point of not wanting to go on in life if I can't find a way to cope with all the rejection I feel. I am Autistic so the challenges for me in the areas of communication and relationships are difficult.
Prayer and God are always my first line of defense especially when I feel troubled. My 30 days of prayer, scripture study, and spiritual guidance began today. I began my morning with prayer and scripture. I ponder on the scriptures I read throughout the day to gain insight and understanding. Today thoughts came into my mind about how the world is so focused on money and the gain of money and trying to be seen in the world (Social media) to gain that money. I don't want to be a part of that way of living. I just want to pray, do my best to be true to my religious beliefs, and be someone who cares more about others than money. I want to walk in belief and faith that God will provide for my needs. I feel that is the better path to walk.
I spent the morning wondering about a world where the currency wasn't money. Instead you earned service, kindness, and charity points. So you could gain desired goods, materials, and services through earning kindness points. I'm deciding to try and live my life as though kindness was the main focus instead of money. I may need to start a 30 day KINDNESS JOURNEY so I can begin living this way fully. At least the thought, prayer, and scripture brought me more peace than usual today. It was a much better day.
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