I Found Brownies On My Doorstep
Updated: Jul 21, 2021
Is it possible to transform hearts one brownie at a time?
I Won’t Let That Kind of Visitor Through My Door:
Disgruntled and tired of visitors, I chose not to answer the persistent knocking at the door. Instead, I turned my back and walked in the opposite direction to my bedroom. My heart remembers the sting from previous visitors.
Those visits left me with the bitter taste of feeling judged, misunderstood, and broken trust. So I won’t let that kind of visitor through my door. But then something happened that changed my mind.
Later that day, I opened the door to get something out of my car. My eye immediately spotted the brownies on my doorstep — what a sweet surprise.
So excited, my mouth watered. I couldn’t resist. Brownies are my favorite. I greedily picked up the plate and looked around as if It were a national treasure needing protection.
Feeling safe, I brought the plate into the house. I sat on the floor, leaned against the door, and slowly ate every crumb with a satisfied grin. There was a little note with the brownies. One side a beautiful drawing, the other a message of “Please remember that we are always happy to help. We are here for you!”
My fortress cold heart melted faster than a glacier river making its way to the ocean. My previous restraint for visitors changed to a depth of gratitude and appreciation I hadn’t felt in a while.
My heart felt like someone found the rusty old key that fit the lock keeping it closed tight. Somehow this brownie managed to unlock the door. My heart opened, allowing positive feelings to rapidly grow like wild grasses getting a good drink of rain after a drought.
Safety is what I felt. I feel safe to allow friendships to grow with this new neighborhood family who has decided to open their hearts and get to know me.
I’m embarrassed about what happened next. Like speed bumps in the road, communication can have hiccups. Once again, the hiccup in the street was me.
Weird and Awkward:
Sunday morning, this family reached out with a friendly hello followed by a question. I returned their kindness with a cold sort of silence. I couldn’t hear or understand them. The problem is, they didn’t know that. So our quick greeting was a failure.
It was a communication malfunction and a total flop in successful greetings. I could see the disappointment in their faces as I managed to fall far below their expectations of me as a potential friend. It hurt. There was that look of judgment I often see. But there is something about me they don’t know. Would it matter if they knew?
We will have a few more weird and awkward greeting moments until they learn more about me. They are newbies to my world and most likely have never experienced someone quite like me before. But, there is something about me they don’t know. Do you want to hear my little secret?
I have an extreme hearing gift and curse. It’s my superpower and my kryptonite. My hearing is so keen; I have to shut the world of sound out. Sound overpowers my nervous system and brings me to my knees daily.
When in a crowded room, I wear specialized earbuds for hearing issue-Hyper Sensory Sensitivity, and Autism. I wear them to dim sound, and when it’s not enough, I blue tooth them to my phone and play white noise, which has an instant effect of calming my nervous system and preventing me from having an embarrassing drop to the floor meltdown crisis.
I essentially can’t hear a thing when the white noise is playing, and that is why I couldn’t listen to them and respond. I couldn’t figure out how to get things shut off, tuned into communication, and have a response.
I was a bumbling technology idiot. The family will learn that and also learn I communicate differently than others. I use a text-to-speech app. My voice is a digital voice due to my communication disability. It takes a person about seven interactions with me before they get used to me.
The True Gift:
There’s an Art in connecting with others. I’m still trying to figure it out at the age of 50. It’s taking me a long time to understand, when people back away, it’s negative. But, when they don’t back away, they are okay with the interaction, and it’s safe to continue. I’ve become a good listener, and often that is what people desire most, compassionate listening.
Biting into that brownie satisfied my belly and heart. I learned joy from this precious family. Joy spreads, positively affecting others in its wake. My heart was changed drastically by a plate of brownies. It’s my turn to leave a plate of brownies for someone else and spread the joy on to another.
Remember the gem you are,
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